I was having breakfast and noticed a gentleman across the diner wearing a hat that said “Half Crazy” “Extremely Unstable.” I’m assuming he wasn’t and was trying to be cute, funny or simply ridiculous. To actually be considered as such is not overly funny. Maybe I’m a little sensitive but I do find humour in my own plight because it gets me through. When others find my experiences funny it just gets to me.
I can never understand those who ridicule and joke about mental illness and those afflicted. Instead of sharing your derision why not share your secret? Possibly you remain quiet about your secret because you intend to patent it. You could market your secret seasonally even. I find the holidays especially difficult when I’m dealing with delusions. You could run commercials and hide your gift in Cadbury Easter Eggs. The rest of us could scratch our heads wondering how you got the gift inside. One in five would gladly pay to know what specifically you do to avoid mental illness. Please let us know what it is you eat or ingest to keep mental illness at bay. What Yoga moves can I practice to prevent mental illness? What is this secret you obviously possess? What shopping mall should I go to so I can purchase your immunity? It would be swell if I could pick it up at a garage sale. Used is better for me, many occupations seem off limits to me so money can be tight. Hopefully it fits into the shopping carts some of us push our lives around in or could I borrow your SUV? Maybe you and the many others who share your immunity can organize something like a blood donor clinic. Maybe it is something I can plant in my yard. Can I cultivate what you so assuredly posses? What will you charge for your secret? Do you take personal cheques? Maybe you keep it like some family recipe whose ingredients are only to be shared by those whose blood you share. It would be nice if you could open a drive thru. The one in five could order a “Double Double” dose of your formula. I sincerely hope it isn’t too complex. I have already been getting by using an array of medications and therapies. Please let it be a prayer or a pill.
Possibly you enjoy the disparity of power. You in your Birkenstocks reading the Globe at Starbucks and me mumbling to myself and or cursing at the sky down by the tracks. Is my plight not enough for you? Why do you add salt to my wounds?
This is all in jest obviously; if you had this knowledge, this power, there would be no need for you to take away what little I posses. There would be no need to label and denounce the mentally ill. There would be no need to stratify society by health or wealth because you would possess both. Still, it would be nice to know your secret to at least have health. Just imagine how popular you would be if you could help us dodge dementia, depression and delusions. You wouldn’t have to tell your stupid jokes; we would already be eating out of your hands!
If you do not posses compassion enough to share your immunity, have the decency to keep your misconceptions under your hat or at least off of it. Either that or wear one that says “Half Liver” “Extremely Jaundiced.” But that would be in poor taste wouldn’t it.