I suspect there are a multitude of reasons and excuses for being sporadic with a blog. Mine usually have to do with inspiration. I’m not always moved to write. My other monthly reason is quitting smoking. Without fail each attempt leaves me in bed struggling for consciousness. I am unsure if there is something beyond nicotine withdrawal as I am on several medications but food or friends fail to rouse me.
Typically I tire of being tired and use that as my first excuse to purchase another pack. I suddenly find myself with 25 reasons to keep the covers pulled back.
I have had a little more success this time though I am reluctant to claim victory over a long held habit. My usual scenario is a day or two in bed with a quick trip to the corner variety store for my cure to sleep. Miraculously I rise from my bed and sit in a chair on my balcony with smoke circling my head. I may not have the best perspective but this seems like progress. I have restrained myself from this small failing so far but it has been a struggle. I got out of bed today to vacuum up the dog and cat that lay scattered throughout the house but the vacuum was in danger. It conspired with its cord, corners and walls to not follow my intentions and came close to being broken further.
I use an empty kidney bean can for an ashtray outside on the balcony. Unfortunately we have had several days of rain and none of my butts are of any value. I took a decent one and held my lighter to it in an attempt to dry it out. If they weren’t so fragile I would have wrung it out first for better success. I put a few in the microwave for which I have paid dearly. Everything I have warmed in the last two days tastes like a cigarette minus the nicotine. There is no value to a cinnamon roll that tastes like tobacco.
I do have nicotine gum when I remember to chew it. I’m pretty sure I can chew and suck all the nicotine from a piece in under a minute. I swallow each piece as I am sure this is the only way to replenish what has seeped from my bones.
When I drive I have to restrain myself from pulling up to the people I can see smoking and offering two bucks for a smoke. I’m sure I could get one for free but I figure being accosted has a price.
I have been told exercise helps and as soon as the rain stops I intend to take my dog for a walk downtown with a baggie. I could care less if she poops on the sidewalk but I’ll be damned if I will pass by any juicy cigarette butts.
Brett Batten 
Don’t give up. It’s so difficult to stop an addiction; but you can do it. Thanks for sharing your humor with us.
Blessings ~ Wendy
Thanks Wendy, I’m glad you like my humour. What we do for real is often laughable.
It’s probably not politically correct to say so but this is the funniest post I’ve read for a long time from the whole blogosphere. I hate to laugh at your misfortune and I do apologise on that issue, but having tried and failed to quit about six weeks ago, I SO totally understand. Much as I confess to being an addict I’m sure cinnamon rolls just aren’t the same with that tobacco flavour. Damn it. Nothing tastes the same. Must be time for another cigarette. Hang in there mate (a kiwi expression). Things can only get better! 😀
PS. I’m hoping the dog and cat survived. It can be hell on them too.
Hey, thought you might like to know I’m still alive mate. We should have a twitter chat or poke each other on Facebook…can you do that? I’m glad my suffering made you smile, it relaxes my grimace.
Actually I was wondering. I had noticed you hadn’t been around. By this time of day you’re probably asleep but let’s catch up tomorrow. That doesn’t sound very nice that your suffering made me smile, now does it? Apologies. I’m not really the cold heartless bitch I might come across as sometimes.
Sorry I haven’t been in touch more, I appreciate you and your messages. Can’t wait to get to NZ and meet you. It’s on my Bucket List.
Cool! Let me know when. 😀
Just looking for my toothbrush, last time I remember I was scrubbing the shower with it.
I’m guessing the dog has used it. 😉
Sounds grim trying to give up…Good luck (if luck has anything to do with it!)…
Thanks, I’ll take luck if it has any nicotine in it.
Good luck!
I quit smoking cold turkey and it was hard but possible!
I didn’t know cold turkey was that addictive 🙂
You can do it if you chose to do it. Start with the mental and take control of the physical!
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
You are welcome, and to encourage others helps encourage one self. Working, support and positivity in a community helps us all. Stay focus, stay strong.
Thanks for your wisdom and support, both have been a comfort.
You are welcome. I am glad I was able to add something. Peace in harmony!
Good luck Brett! I am told it gets easier. I was afraid you were quitting the blog; now that would be bad news.
Thanks Barb. I almost threw the baby out with the bathwater.
After watching my husband lock himself up in his studio to (after starting chantax sp?) to quit, I empathize with your plight. Best of luck. The chantex helped him, though it’s still hard – especially if he has a Jack and Coke.
Thank you for the support. I will stay away from the Jack and Coke. Leaving a lighter in your pocket isn’t helpful either.
I wish you success. I imagine that what you are going through with trying to stop must be horrible if you are willing to do the things you’ve done. I think you need to give yourself a little credit because the desire to stop is there. Little by little… every hour, day… is a success.
Thanks very much for the support. I am just beginning to pop my head out of the rabbit hole and am pleased to meet you.
I had to smile….
I now someone who is trying to quit…
though he has no sense of humor about it or anything
for that matter….
This was a good read…
and Thank you for stopping by…I fly by these days, I finally found a much needed job
and the overtime is good…so I will drop in once in awhile..I’m glad to see you back…
Take Care…
)0(
ladyblue
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I figure when we’re in pain we grimace and it’s pretty much a smile so you might as well alter it and make a real one. Take care and congratulations on your new job.
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I’m happy to know I was able to make you laugh…I hear it now.
Oh my goodness i laughed my way through that!! I quit cold turkey 17 years ago, my Hubby quit (because of me) cold turkey 9 years ago, it is possible although torcherous! All the best!
Thanks for the wishes. It has been a struggle. My biggest obstacle now is that I have started sucking my thumb. My car is not automatic which adds to my dilemma. If you’re behind a car who doesn’t signal it is likely me. Please don’t honk your horn as I am unable to flip you the finger at this time.
ahaha! i shall try to remember not to honk. have you tried smoking a pretzle? i’ve done that in the past…lol
Oh my gosh, you made me laugh. I’m sorry for your struggle. I can relate. I quit smoking 20 years ago only when my grandma was diagnosed with Emphysema. You’ll do it, I’m sure. 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to comment. They have terrible photo’s of what smoking can do to you and I was getting quite nervous which of course caused me to smoke more. For all the thought that goes into educating and warning people of the dangers I think eliminating packaging would be easier. If it was a cliff edge without a fence but a big sign warning you of all the people who fell off we would lobby the government not for more graphic signs but a real barrier.
What a great post. I’ve definitely pulled my fair share of butts out of the jar. Good luck to you!
I remember as a teenager waiting for a train in Toronto and watching a gentleman picking butts from the ashtrays. (before smoking was banned) I felt sorry for him, now I understand his need. If you know of any good spots for picking up butts let me know and as I’ve said before I will take luck as long as there is nicotine in it.
Regards, Brett