I was reading an article on the popularity of running. I used to run. I started questioning the health benefits when I realized sidewalks are next to roads. It’s exhausting, literally. I gave it up when I rolled over the hood of an automobile making one of those rolling stops. I don’t have a problem with running but I do have a problem running. Cardiovascularly I’m a mess. Thank God for evolution. If I had to chase down my dinner I’d be eating snails. Running doesn’t sit well with my addiction to cigarettes either. Please don’t call me a hypocrite; it’s already on my driver’s licence.

I started thinking about marathons. It seems everyone has a 26.2 sticker on their car. It’s actually dangerous as I am obliged to pass them. I find it a little illogical that people use trains, planes and automobiles to run in a race. It’s like parking lots at health clubs.

Couldn’t we run 13.1 miles from our front door and return with the same admirable time to brag about? Nike would choke without somewhere to dump their advertising shirts and bags but possibly our grandchildren wouldn’t if we left the airplane at home. We could pin a paper towel to our backs with a number and I doubt people would question the validity of the 26.2 sticker. I’m guessing half of them are left from previous vehicle owners anyway. Couldn’t we pretend instead of being pretentious?

The Boston Marathon had just under 27 000 participants in 2013 and they expect 36 000 this April. I couldn’t uncover how many are actually Boston residents but last year 96 countries were represented along with 56 states and territories. I calculated almost 4000 entries from countries outside of the U.S. They included Russia, the United Arab Emirates, Iceland and 209 from Italy. Are there not roads in these strange lands? I’m not sure how to calculate the jet fuel but I can see some of it in the clear blue skies above my home.

Running can be an admirable addiction but when you run until your toenails fall off and you have to tape your nipples so they don’t wear and bleed from your shirt rubbing, I wonder. Maybe I’m just not that healthy.

I realize these events are great for charities but do we need to use trains, planes and automobiles to raise funds for these worthy causes? Couldn’t we use our SMART phones and have a telethon? It sounds like marathon and it may even make more cents. I guess it’s like real estate…location, location, location.

I love marathoners; my brother is one. Thankfully he doesn’t read my blog either.