Trigger Warning: There’s Something Wrong With the Person Telling Me Things I Don’t Want To Hear

I usually stick to Twitter because Facebook is just a place where you can watch people get murdered or raped. Unfortunately, there are a lot of disturbing things happening in the world even when your car is idling in the McDonalds drive-thru. With an awareness of the ink in my pen I will only point out a couple of the feel good ones.

Let’s start with Nobel Prize laureate Malala Yousafzai and Prince Henry of Wales. I don’t usually pick on kids but they seem old enough to address nations.

Malala Yousafzai is doing great brave things but she might be more successful if she acknowledged more. I realize she was shot in the head by the Taliban but the faith she fashions was an accomplice. Malala will tell you the story of her family’s apologetic neighbours telling her mom that maybe next time she will have a boy but the question is were they Taliban?

Malala will come to Canada and tell us to do more because there’s not much we can do where the problems originate. We can marvel that after all her hard work and world recognition her family acknowledged that she existed. Her story is that she was the first female whose name was written on a 300 year old family tree. If Malala was truly brave she would have grabbed the sharpie and scribbled her grandmother’s name who breastfed her father. She might have fetched a few pails of water but I don’t know the family well.

I’m just jealous because I wasn’t invited to stand beside my feminist husband who is a political drama teacher.

More recently we have been hearing from Prince Harry. Co-incidentally he has turned his grief into a mental illness while he and his brothers pretty princess are kicking off a mental health campaign. It must have been hard trying to forget about your mom with her picture splashed everywhere. Then again Prince Harry could have been living in a shack without a single photograph of Lady Diana.

I think it’s great to imagine royalty with haemorrhoids but before we crowd the gates of Buckingham Palace with sympathetic signs let’s ask some questions.

  1. Couldn’t Queen Elizabeth 2 afford a grief counsellor?
  2. Does Queen Elizabeth 2 know how to speak to a 12 year old?
  3. Can Queen Elizabeth 2 use that wonderful waving hand to hug her grandson?

If you can’t imagine the Royal Family as dysfunctional as any fine. But if you truly care about the monarchy just ignore them.

Take care because I don’t.

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