Found In Translation

I attended a birthday meal for a septuagenarian this evening. I wasn’t the cook so it was this side of better. It seemed a breeze was breathed on us continuously which was relief from the humidity I seemed to experience everywhere else I was present for the day. We were sitting talking before the meal which for me means listening to predominantly Chinese phrases. I am sometimes isolated by my vocabulary which consists of ‘xie xie’ or “thank you” and ‘dou bu qi’ which means “I’m sorry”. I have had a six year relationship with my Canadian Chinese fiancé knowing nothing more and needing not much else. There is some English when we visit her family which provides me the opportunity to put my foot in my mouth and say ‘dou bu qi’ and practice my Chinese.

Someone asked what time it was. My initial reaction was to suggest it was time to eat as BBQ almost everything was already on the table but something struck me. Someone reached into their pocket and siphoned the time from their cell phone while I turned my wrist and glanced at my watch. If I want to know the time I look at the microwave, the oven or my watch before I even think about the cell phone in my pocket. As far as I’m concerned cell phones are for music, EBay and confirming how few of you read this blog. I don’t even use mine to make calls as I have one of those old phones you have to travel half way across the house for. I would like to argue that I like the exercise but there are people I know who do read this blog and they could only laugh at such an argument.

Time means something different to each of us. To the 8 year old at the table it was an eternity until we cut the cake. The chef at the BBQ toiled for hours marinating and turning several forms of flesh and I ate most of it in a fraction of the time it took others. This slight failing falls squarely at the feet of my parents who birthed four hungry boys. Last one to the table scrapes the bowl. My swiftness to swallow was further fine tuned among inmates who would ask “are you going to eat that?” If it was on your tray you didn’t want it.

Like time, life experiences are subjective and subtle. Money for someone who experienced the Great Depression is something different from the 13 year old with the X-Box, IPod and Dr. Dre Headphones. Homelessness is a foreign concept to one and a reflection and reminder to the other. The 8 year old waiting for the cake will likely never fathom his grandmother passing her portion of rice to her children.

If you were to ask one about food, the stories, memories, impressions, meanings and experiences would be as far apart as the years themselves. I hope neither know hunger again or ever but there is nothing like it to add to appetite and to colour food with flavour and celebration. It becomes not something we do three times a day but something we are blessed with in the moment.


I had one good friend when I was in the Forensic hospital. His name was Ed and my head and heart are filled with memories of him and our time together. We were quite different from each other in many ways but we had common experiences. I learned much from Ed and more in his passing.

Ed was an ordinary man whose life involved extraordinary events and circumstances. Ed had faults, some which were obvious. What I saw behind what would obscure the view for some, was a normal, compassionate, empathetic, generous and decent man. I remember him because of the impact he was making in my life at the time. What I hold in my heart for him is best described as love. What I learned from his life I am attempting to put into action to reflect more of the good that he passed onto me.

Ed taught me to persevere and stand up for yourself even when you know you will lose. Ed taught me to share with others even if you do not have much yourself. Ed taught me that any time spent with someone you care about is precious in the end. Ed taught me that there is more to be had in a persons eyes and voice than in their physical form. Ed taught me that sitting in silence can be as memorable as words. Ed taught me that love is more recognizable as it disappears. Ed taught me that tolerance is a key to relationship. Ed taught me that even as I was struggling there were people on my path to help me. Ed was my friend but he is also a lesson.